Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Come Back to Me


Come back to me
We can hang out together and laugh
How did we manage to find everything so funny?
I need to see long eyelashes and freckles
How can such beauty be hidden from my sight?
Come back to me
I miss you

Come back to me
We can be happy again
Are rules and convention so important?
I can’t be complete without you
How can I dispel my loneliness and longing?
Come back to me
I miss you

Come back to me
We can go to our secret place
Where else can we feel comfortable and safe?
I can’t find a replacement you
Can you find another me?
Come back to me
I love you

My first and possibly last poem! Inspired by Maya Angelou and a very dear friend.

Friday, 6 August 2010

Songs of Life

This is a little bit of my life in music. I like how Nick Hornby and Stephen King use song lyrics/music references in their books. I started reading Hornby's book, 31 Songs, but didn't finish it. There are too many books that I haven't finished. I remember thinking with 31 Songs that I'd like to hear what song the bloke is writing about. Herewith, I'll demonstrate the beauty of the blog. There won't be 31 songs, only 7, although there are hundreds that mean so much to me.

The first song that I have any recollection of is Puppet on a String by Sandie Shaw. She won the Eurovision Song Contest with it in 1967. Considering that I was only two, I'm surprised that I even remember it. I reckon that because she won Eurovision, it was probably played for years, so that could be why. I didn't understand what Sandie was singing about, but it had the word puppet and I was a kid, so I loved it.

In the 70's there were The Osmonds, David Cassidy, Marc Bolan and David Bowie. But the next artist to really get my attention was the weird and wonderous Kate Bush. I had read the book Wuthering Heights and loved the song from the minute I heard it. I wanted to be Kate and I bought her albums and listened to her music until a few years ago. I can't listen to her right now but I'm pretty sure that I will again.

The 80's and every decade since, belong to Springsteen. I also got into Dylan and still love old Bob. Thunder Road brings back a great memory of a holiday in Corfu with my friend Ruth. We had to hire a scooter to get to the beach and used to sing Thunder Road on the way there. I can still feel the baking sun on my back and we were so young and free. If I could time travel I'd go straight to that holiday and feel like that again. I'm sure Ruth would too.

Next is my wedding song, We've Only Just Begun. We had a male band, so this version was how it sounded, when my new husband and I took to the dance floor. This was everything I ever wanted and I had amazing dreams of a fabulous future. I couldn't have imagined what was to come, I thought we would grow old together. It was difficult for me to listen to this song for a long time and I still feel a twinge of pain.

Then came the shocker, a diagnosis of motor neurone disease, ALS, in April 2000. I used to say my prayers but no one was listening. I soon gave that up. The lyrics to this song say everything about how I felt at that time.

Well they shot you point blank
you been shot in the back
Baby point blank you been fooled this time
little girl that's a fact
Right between the eyes, baby, point blank
right between the pretty lies that they tell

Goodbye to Love is my song. My husband didn't love me enough and the man I loved after him, didn't either. I was a puppet on a string... now I understand that song!

And here's the song for when I leave this earth, which I don't think will happen imminantly. My MND seems to have stopped or slowed right down. I feel trapped and wonder how I will cope with endless years of disability. I'm here for my children but they are growing fast. Who will be here for me when they leave? At least I don't fear the reaper!